i remember

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Playing in the rain
The peace of mind
And joy of heart
I remember

first day of college                       \\ Aug 2003
watched "Tere naam"               \\while my classmates were ragged ..haw haw
that spoiled brat
i remember

small class
32 students
6 rows 2 columns
i remember

the teddybear
the hitler
the sisters
i remember

skipping lectures
failing maths
hating teachers
i remember

the little canteen
the birthdays
the soft drinks,the pastry's
the cornettos
i remember

the lunch breaks
the fighting for my mom's maggi
sukku's lassi,Akhil's dhokla,
shilki's red-chilly achar,sheetal's sandwiches
i remember

and even the bus
Where we should have fallen in love
those fights,the "ram-ladoo's"
i remember


She wanted to say but didn't have the nerve
A half smile crosses my lips
I remember.
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P.S.
It was supposed to be more
Wherever you are
There's far too much of me in there.

poem for "naina"

Yesterday i logged on for a regular session
And I met this girl there
there were messages and more messages
she wanted me to write her a poem after reading my blog
so here's what i thought....


Friends don't call her name
they sing for her,
how lucky she is to have them
surrounding her like a fur

morning jog, window-shop,dancing
are her trades,
betrayals,traffic-signals,policemen
are all she evades

had a crush once
and that was all,
so fortunate as
love is the one that makes you fall.

she hates the gym as it wastes her time,
won't even trust you for thousand dime


her dreams are big,
hopes are high,
she wants to a designer
designing other lives.



p.s.
to नैना
miss, i wrote this in "रैना" :D

sob sob!!!!!i want those outfits for me!!!!![cry loudly]uuwwwahh!!!!

we

we see them in the convenient store
We see them on tv
We read about them in novel books
some appear in magazines
some look at you in the checkout line
some hang out in the mall
some become the stars of movies
few hang posters of them on their walls
you know its true
The ppl i am talking about
are just like me and you !

the day that was Today :)

Dark Clouds in d sky
Looking like mountains
monsoon time it sure is
it bucketed down
it thundered
the lightning
the wind
the heavens opened up

my fingers moving fast on my cell
me:-"hey batra! let's have some chicken !"
batra:-"Sure m8! come over"
(huge crack of thunder followed by a lake of water falling outta the sky)
me:-"on second thoughts.....forget it!"

oh the cruel twists
oh the pain
the smell of that chicken that i could have had... :(
fuck this monsoon..

and then
and then
i dunno
me stuck for words
must have been that lightning hit i took
re arranged my molecules
can't remember anything

whats my name
whats my number
cmon V get it together man
this be yer blog
how was the day??
fuck the lightning
how was the workout today?
v?
v?
hello
is there anybody out there?
knock knock
transmission interrupted
insufficient credit for withdrawal
please contact your bank
please call home
earth to v
earth to v
beep beep beep
this page has expired
v is dead
long live v !

moody today...

there i was yesterday
with my trusted confidants (Akhil,shilki and sheetal)
spilling the beans
they know everything my homies
access all areas
no remote inkling grazes the perimeter of my mind
than do i not rush to tell them all

sometimes i am on a roll
and feeling rather good
i run to look at you
just like a pop star would
but you just stare right back
those dark accusing eyes
they say u look good.......
you don't realize.

my friend mujji said to give you his regards regardless

any way I've spoiled you all now with all this tripe
and i'll be rite back tomorrow
same V time
same V channel

***** baby //(can't use her name here)
kiss kiss kiss

and please ppl
don't take drugs
send em to me :D //joking guys joking...

innocent broken dreams..

an old friend visited
and we talked about our loves
Compared scars and broken hearts
Passed dreams over hot coffee
but still i know
I'll walk alone
Down the street of innocent broken dreams

someday the rain will stop
& she'll embrace me &
I'll think back on all I've left behind
Laughing, thinking on all I still have
but still i know
I'll walk alone
Down the street of innocent broken dreams

p.s.
looks like i am truly messed up in the head ! ... :(

still raining

An hour ago i was on roof
standing in the rain
mind at peace
heart full of sadness

remembering that day when i told her
I am coming
Crossing the state line
traveling until dawn
But I never found the time

we all should know in every Color every Dream is tainted.
I'm still as lonely as the time i followed suit
and i know that nothings coming out of this
but the taste of bitter fruit

you know ..

People get a little lonely sometimes,
People need a little love sometimes,
People need a little that sometimes,
People need a little this sometimes,
People always need something...
and i am no exception.

i´ve had my share of tears..
Give me a cure for this condition
before it`s too late
she´s over there
I´m waiting over here
And i´ll take it like it comes

I don´t know where i´ll be tomorrow
I won´t even ask her questions
I will take what i can find.

going to follow the breeze wherever it`s going.

It hurts..

It hurts,
I feel like I've lost something precious
feels like she'll never come back
As another night sky falls
It all feels like wasted time

why others have it so easy
Their delightful bliss of profound ignorance
They fear not the judgment of their own pain
With impunity, they flaunt the gifts of Fate

I sit here and wonder
Why i lost her?
And if she'll ever come back?
Another dawn kisses the sky
Why do I keep wasting so much time?


There's not much left to say
One step has been taken &
Two left behind

tumbling through...the rain has fallen

heard somewhere once...
Inaction leads to A dreadful welling up of Painful memories.


it all goes wrong again
the rain has fallen
and all I'm left with is
Its bitter taste

i was murdered yesterday by my own
i shouldn't speak it

a stolen whisper
i found it on the tongue of girl that i love

for sure i can say now..this is just a theory
That you can live on love alone

You can live and survive
On unrequited love alone

So now, when things seem bleakest
I can become a myself again

teardrops in my hands had been in my eyes for quite some time.

by chance one of my Playboy friends "Mohit" called up.I let it all out and asked dude how can u be like this and i am not.You play with emotions you get away and i love purely for what...to deserve this.
He said just remember: "when you see that star shining at its
brightest, its already been dead for a thousand years."Then he told me his story.And that eased me down.
So I'll keep it here right where it stands
Hold my fears close
Bottled up tight.

I had a dream
to touch her face gently
and run my fingers through her hair
was an image in my mind..and now it will remain so.
One day like everything this image will get blurred too.