End sem Blizzard

violent outburst of end-sem, each day of this week i have to face one.End-sems are created due to pressure of external exams not on students but on teachers.
They influence my activity in such matters as sleeping, studying and gym.I hate these in a likable way.Two exams have come and gone like whirlwinds ...just four more to go.

highlight of the week--
on 2nd Nikki is getting married...party time hehe...

got that Break

At last i got that break that i was looking for so long and it turned out to be Nainital.Some of my friends (Devansh,Javed,Imran,kushagra) from Noida were there to have some relaxing time,it Went very well for me...Just loved Mountains,Valleys,Lake it was so pleasing to eyes,didn't do boating in the lake as i am totally afraid of water..always have been..something i gotta get over sometime.so..someday soon i want to go river-rafting.
It was a beautiful view in the night too.We sat on Lake's bank in the night and it was fun sitting there and talking to my friends...and i would b lying if i say that i didn't miss her..:-( ...all the effort that i put to forget her has been ineffectual till now..i am so weak here,it's so recondite.Still can't believe that cupid hit me.

it's Vicky signing off ......muaaaaaaaaaahhhh

after so long i feel happy....:-)

sis 's b'day

It's your b'day ..so happy b'day sis.Enjoy and have fun.Hope you were here..
Didn't go to college today,thought i would study something but i just kept on sleeping whole day!So let it be tomorrow then.

Here's some news..
According to US paper a Police officer has sued the family of a baby he saved because he injured himself while saving the baby.lol..isn't it supposed to be cops duty :-)

evaded another rule

A new rule has been made for Mca class--that everyone has to come to college to maintain 75% attendance.Only students having 75% attendance will be allowed to appear in internal examinations starting from 29th.
I have always evaded so many rules before so this time it was no different.
I knew i would subterfuge this one too...and i did,all it took was 10 minutes of convincing of my H.O.D.He is 7 years veteran with an aggressive mien.
So, now i only need to go 3 days to college a week.You've no idea..It's such a relief.

on kaaku's wedding day..20th APrilL

Kichha people..
were there to eat and gaze at bride as usual.

kaaku..
was cheerful as always.

Sameep..
Our eyes met for a moment and clearly his eyes flouted me.

Pankaj..
Told me he's still in love and not able to forget that nymph from delhi.such a dunderhead he is.

Shikher..
like always had that woebegone look on his face.

me..
as usual gave everybody that inscrutable smile.
Came back home at 2:30. Felt like a rip tide in d morning,so didn't go to the college and spent whole day watching movies and serials,skipped the gym too.

हम मीले आज ....

गले मील ले भाई ..और वो मीला भी ! मैंने कहा उसके कान में भाई कोन्ग्राट्स !
उसने सुना और हस दीया रवी की तरफ देख कर !

बस येही हुआ आज काकू के शगन में !

कल शादी है काकू की , जाना तो है ही। देखो कया होता है कल ।

Young me

oh young vik..there's just so much i need to warn you about..and yet tragically i cannot!!

Down...

if someone tried to hurt you and after few days u saw all those (who you thought would always be there for you) with that guy..how would you feel.I feet betrayed and so very low.Even Shikher shakes hand with him.They don't know but now i don't have any feelings for any of them.Nothing is going well for me ....somehow i have lost a lot of weight suddenly and have been feeling low for quite sometime.I feel trapped here...want to runaway maybe for a day or two ...somewhere peaceful far far away.

Surprise Guest..

didn't go to college today..it was a lonely day but i did study a bit.Watched "disturbia" yesterday ..a good movie i would say!Sameep's mom came home today i chatted for a while with her and she asked y didn't i came to PAnkaj's marriage.I just said leave it aunty.she told me that vishal would never be at that place where i am.Also that i should talk to him.Aunty said that she's going to make us friends,but i refused and just left the room,and went to gym.while i was gone Sameep came and as i had thought he said to mom..that i didn't tried to talk to him when he came to my home...now what can i say...i know i didn't but y i didn't i don't know....
Now feeling so sleeepy had a gr8 workout today also have to start working on my project tomorrow..so gotaa go guys..tc

talks with subconsciousness

12:26 p.m. 14Th April

inner voice: "it's been a devastating year for you :--heartbroken on 19Th Jan then that shocking news on 29Th Jan and yesterday betrayed by a friend.How's are you bearing up??What will you do??"

His answer was striking.The man's own--own inner strength,his own perception of his vulnerabilities and his guilt or lack of guilt,has sustained him during these difficult periods, and will continue in the weeks ahead.

BacKstabbed By Pankaj!

i am at home didn't go to the wedding party.When i went to gym i came to know that Vishal came to Pankaj's function too & that was it.Pankaj called me exactly at 7:21 p.m. and i told him don't ever call me m8.It's the end of road for us.I know some of you might think i overreacted but i disagree.Try to be in my shoes..u don't judge me from where you are standing,see the things from my eyes.You don't know what I've been through.
But look at the positive side--at least i know who are my real friends now.

Ashu and Sid I will always miss you guys!

Pankaj's Wedding day

2:44 p.m. Shikher just dropped him off at home a little while ago.They were at Pankaj's "Shagan or Shagun"(whatever they call it).Again he was thinking WTF am i doing here, everybody else was enjoying and he was just sitting there and thinking about when will he make money??His family has so many hopes from him and he ..he doesn't know what to do and how to do that ....Will he ever be able to achieve what everyone wants him too.Thoughts like that keep on lingering in his mind these days. The only thing time he's am not having these thoughts is when he's in gym or sleeping.His exams are a month away and he hasn't completed a single one of his subjects.It's going to be very hard to crack them.He knows that and he's keeping his fingers crossed.He has to attend Pankaj's marriage today and he has to go to gym at 7 too.Although he doesn't want to go but he has to....why does a man have to do what he doesn't want to do????

GOOD news...

came so late from college today it was 7 ..on my way home i got an sms from Shilki she got selected for another company.So so happy i am for her.She is always the one whom i tell everything first and haven't hidden anything from her.I always knew she would do some great things and this is just the beginning.God bless you sis....And if you ever read this ..Congrats dear.
college is off till Tuesday and i have to go to Pankaj's marriage tomorrow,so i am going to sleep right away.C ya ppl

A Surprise....

Only you two?? the teacher asked
yes came the reply
Then i don't think we need the whiteboard today. Let’s sit together and finish this topic off. Today we are going to study Boundary fill and flood fill algorithm -teacher said
AND both of them obeyed the orders as they always do as this teacher was at least trying hard to explain the topics to them and was a different experience for them.
After 15 minutes he started talking about why he has joined this college. He was a student like them in U.P. tech university last year but his 5th semester result got withheld and here he was watching his life go haywire.He told them he didn't like the job but he's got no choice..he reaches home at 10:30 sleeps for only 6 hrs and then he has to get ready to catch the train to get to a town that's 35 km from college and then if he's lucky enough he catches the college bus on time to do his duties.He's trying to break into corporate world to make some money to support his family and make his father proud who is an advocate.Then he says to me try in modelling man..and i am like...WTF man! where did that came from!!Then he goes on to say what they all say....blah blah blah....

In the end i just felt so sad for that man,who has to do what he doesn't want to do to survive in this world of vultures.Maybe soon enough he will get an opportunity to catch his dreams and make his parents proud.If everything came as easy.....

Other than this incident of learning a lot about someone there was a surprise in the evening.It was Sameep,he came to my home with Pankaj's Mom to invite me and my mom for Pankaj's marriage.Our eyes met for a second but their was no friendliness in them(including mine)..then mom said "Vicky cheenu ko baitha to sahi.." and i just stood there and said nothing for a second or two..then i bent down to touch Pankaj's Mom's feet to get her blessings....

They left in a minute..after that i don't know why ,but i felt i did something wrong by not shaking Sameep's hand...but then that's how i am, and i just cant help it.And then their was a blackout in our town.So i was not able to go my favourite place in whole wide world..Ravi's Gym.Then came Pankaj's call to make sure that i was coming on 13Th to his marriage...it took him 2 and 1/2 minutes to convince me to come(He hasn't called Vishal).So on 13th this kid is going to the Party guys..yeyeyey

The CLUB

The following post is to be read as on 10th APril !!

8:35 p.m.
"Naa hai Pana ,NaaKhona hi hai"
the phone sang as he was fighting with weights in the Ravi's Gym. His Close friend Mujahid picks it up and passes it to Monu who sees the flashing number on screen and exclaims it your pal..Shikher!And he was like Shikher!! So at last he gets time to call. He puts the battered old body of the cell to his ear and then he finds out why Shikher has called him after so many days...his closest pal wants to have a cigarette and wants him to go with him to "THE CLUB"!Now CLUB is the place associated with all of us friends as it was the place where we all used to meet each day at between 7 and 9 p.m...y here ?? because first of all it's a Dhabha that's 3 km away from town and then u get all varieties of cigarettes here and beer and whiskey too.Second coz it's so far away it's safe for all the boys to go and have a Drag.Another thing which happened here was on October 7th 2007(some 10 days after the strike in college and the beginning of the ending of my friendship with Sameep) when as i was coming back from RAvi's Gym Shikher caught me and me,Shikher,Pankaj and Kaaku went to CLUB.They were having their drags and i was standing by the bike.Then riding on a bike came Sameep,Vishal and Atul tyagi.What happened next ...is something that's always going to be in my memory.Vishal came and tried to start an argument with me,i told him let's talk but he tried to hit me and at that very instant Kaaku intervened and pushed him away.Pankaj and shikher also intervened..all this time Sameep was behind Vishal.Kaaku was holding Vishal and still he managed to slightly hit my stomach..i just put my hands in my pockets as i didn't want to do anything that i would regret later(it looked like most sensible thing to do at that time).Then Kaaku started his bike,came to me and we left CLUB...Sameep and Vishal came driving behind on their bike and Vishal said -Kaaku don't interfere in my matters as i don't interfere in others..and Kaaku was like F**K Off man..and then he dropped me home and told me to get inside and i went in...and called RAvi who's a close friend of Sameep too.He Was shocked and told me to stay calm.Then after half an hour came Pankaj and Lucky and told me that they called up Sameep and Vishal came with him, then their was argument between shikher and Vishal ….by this time my mom also came to know what has happened and as she’s close with Sameep’s mom she called her and he was called to his home.

Things got settled down after 2-3 days and I have in my heart a grudge for Vishal.He’ll pay that’s for sure but as they say.."Revenge is the dish best served cold."
So I just concentrated on other priorities in my life.
So today that’s 9^th April as we went to CLUB i again saw them standing there and having DRAGS. Vishal,Sameep were there…and didn’t wanted to stay there as I hate that bastard Vishal but had to still spend 5-6 minutes there as Shikher was having his drag.Life as a non-smoker is really very difficult in these situations…smoke everywhere and you just wait for others to finish so that you can get out of there.
I just needed to get this out of my system.You might think I am crazy ...nope i am as sane as u or even more.

Got home at 9:00 in darkness as there was a power cut,and it's hot here now so couldn't sleep & then Shilki called to say that she got employed,a package of 2 Something,i am so happy for her.Another one of us best friends gets employed.Now,it's me and Akhil who remain.Our time will come soon too,hopefully.

I did something silly too...i messaged Pankaj at 1:35 that i am not coming to your marriage bro.Why i did that??Coz i think that he invited Vishal....now i am waiting for him to call me.

The Story

It started during his graduation,he liked her but couldn't say so as he feared of loosing her so he just kept quiet.Time flew she went away for post graduation and he stayed at the same college.He was alone as all his friends had chosen to do pg from some other college.It became very painful to go there each day and not seeing them, memories came rushing back everywhere he went so he stopped going to college.In between she called him weekly and made him laugh(a rare occasion).He felt so happy whenever they talked and he could tell she was happy too.Soon the day he would not hear her voice he felt restless.Whenever he was sad/happy he would call her she would listen and understand him.He started caring for her,scolded her if she skipped a meal or didn't have milk.He thought he has found himself the one.Now all he had to do was ask her what's on her mind.she didn't like the people where she studied and always said that it would have been so good if you were here with me,nobody could have said anything to me and he always thought that he should have been there with her.She told him that her friends know him as her boyfriend and tease her.She would say come to my college,my friends want to meet you.He would say i will come one day,the day that was supposed to be Feb 14 2008 but it never came as everything fell apart before that.

Gtalk Trick...

nothing new happened today other then ..the HOD of Cs department wanting me(the CR of Mca) to submit details of lectures we had in last three days and decision by whole class to bunk college till saturday,i hav just reached home(6 p.m.) and have had only two "paranthas" until now..at 7 i have to go Gym so i don't have much time but think i will share a trick with you Guys that i read somewhere..here it is.

If You guys use googletalk then this could be useful to you...If you have got more than one Google ID, and you want to log in both of them at the same time then we have a little nice trick at our disposal-->

1. Right-click on GTalk shortcut and select Properties.
2. The shortcut properties dialog box (as shown in fig above) should popup.
3. Just add /nomutex to the existing text (as shown above).
4. Now you can launch multiple windows and use different ID's.

whoa ! all done not just login using one id in gtalk and then click the shortcut again to login using your second id..you can run numerous instances of gtalk using this trick.

Another day of Vicky's Life

Woke up at 7:30 and had to get ready in a jiffy to catch my college bus.But day no. 3 this sem at college was more tiring than all before although their were only 3 lectures out of 6.What made me tire was the atmosphere that engulfs your dreams and creativity,makes you think the way i am thinking .You just succumb to the negativity there.
I never used to think like this 2-3 years ago but times have changed and my friends have left me who were always there with me and i still miss her a lot.She'll always be in my memories.I will never forget her but it's hard for me when some place in college brings back all those memories.I still cherish all those moments and now i know the importance of them.One day I'll write what happened between us.Still remember her everyday,that smile is always there when i close my eyes.Omg..i miss her soooo much..one day she'll know maybe how much i loved her and my love was true.

The JaiL called College

My second day at college started as usually it does-first two lectures and then again the same scenario...it's just that i feel i am trapped and wasting my time when i am there.Their is no system in place here for our studies..teachers are inept and we are forced to listen to their foolish explanations..sometimes i feel what i have done wrong in my life to land up here.I didn't deserve this college.Anyways nothing can be done now..till Feb 2009 i have to be here in this sick place.I have not found any cause to believe that things are looking up but still no one understands my reluctance to go to college.Weeks,months,almost two years of frustration is now showing.Maybe i am acting crazy then maybe more saner then before.

Looks like that today i am again in a mood of edgy confidence and frustration.
so no more writing today,need to freshen up myself.I think my optimism has ebbed.

it's 5th April 11:30 a.m.so last night we had a party and as usual all my so called friends were there but only few of them are really.I had to tell most of them that why i am giving this party as only 5 remembered my b'day.And ya to my surprise Sameep came..although i called him, i still never thought he would come & ya handshakes happened,he wished me and i thanked him too but that was it.Hope we become what we were a year ago.I miss him a lot sometimes.He is the one guy in our group who has same interests as mine.Maybe one day we'll sit together and chat like we used to or listen to those linkin park songs..miss those days a lot.

I was there but my mind was not.Have had this feeling in most of the parties i go to..
i just don't like that atmosphere that builds with booze i think...but still i go to b social.Anyways,one by one they left and At 12:00 a.m. only 3 were left Mujahid, Mohit & Monu and they were giving me "Gyan" about life.They were right about everything they said and i hate them for that.Monu says if i stay with him long enough he's going to change me,he says that i am too childish(agreed m8)and i need to grow up.I know he's right and i want to change too but i don't know if i will like myself then.
Best of luck to Monu..you've a difficult task at hand bro.

So,This party cost me 4200 rs..Another learning experience this was--an expensive one too.

B'day Party on 4th

just back from college.it's 6:30 p.m. and i am really tired,but can't rest at all as today i have to give my friends a b'day party-it's a trend that's being followed for so many years between our circle.Although i think that they should throw a party for me(hehe).The day was going well till afternoon but after that i really felt trapped in college..no lectures so last 2:30 hrs were really painful.I called sameep today(although friends told me not to) and invited him for the party.He said i will see...so let's c what happens....

That call came

7:11 p.m.got that call at last.I waited for her call all day but when it came their was no charm in it.I didn't talked to her the way i should have..reason--i was angry at her for not being the first one to wish me...maybe i still haven't been able to let her go and maybe i never will.But the best thing happened at 10:00 p.m.Someone whom i have met only once that also in a bus on my way home some two years ago called and sang Happy b'day to me along with friends..it was so sweeeeeeeeeeet..it made my day.Feeling so good now, those voices have rejuvenated me.Just had dinner with mom and it's time to get to bed as i am going to college tomorrow after 2 months.So one last time....
Happy B'day to me..muuaaah till next time...

waiting...

it's 3 p.m. here,and till now i have got 17 calls... and still i didn't get that one call i am wating for.Although i know i shouldn't be so childish but i just can't help it.Still hope dangles on a string,like slow spinning redemption,winding in and winding out.

my birthday Gift to myself...

Friends it is my birthday today and to celebrate I've launched my first blog,something that i wanted to do for a long time.So I'm now a year older now(26 exactly)still studying and one more year to go before i complete my studies.It's 3 a.m. and i am not able to sleep.I am tired though.Still waiting to see if i get the call i am waiting for.Feeling so lonely and empty today.
Last year the b'day was so good.I was made to cut 3 cakes and was given three rounds b'day bumps ....it was so much fun.As of this birthday i think i will just have a simple dinner with mom.There are so many friends i have and only 10 of them actually called up...let's c how many call me up before the day ends..I'll let you all know. Anyways, I think will study a little now then hit the hay.

something i heard somewhere just comes to mind--
Some years pass in a day..
somethings change and somethings fade...

rest i forgot....lol.